The True Tale of LotR: RotKThe True Tale of the Lord of the RingsPart Three: The Return of the KingBrought to Light by Mirriam NealNote: If you have no sense of humor, don't read, and blah, blah, blah, and I don't own the characters, places, and blah, blah, blah. Enjoy.Scene One: FangornMerry: You know, Pippin
Pippin: What, Merry?Merry: Seems to me we ought to be doing something for the war effort.Pippin: We could buy bonds!Merry: No
but Isengard's pretty close. We could take care of it with the ent's help.Pippin: *pulls script out of pocket* Hey, yeah, we were supposed to do that in the Two Towers!Merry: I forgot. Come on; let's go see if the ents'll help us out!*they call together a meeting of the ents that lasts for six hours*Later that EveningMerry: That went well!Pippin: Yes. Too bad they all have arthritis or allergies or measles.Merry: Well, we'll just have to trash Isengard ourselves!Pippin: Yeah!
we will?Merry: Let's see if Treebeard'll give us a lift.Pippin: Who know
The True Tale of LotR: TTTThe True Tale of the Lord of the Rings Part 2: The Two TowersNote: I do not own any characters, places, etc. And if you have no sense of humor, don't read it because it will only be wasting a good three minutes of your time.Scene One: Chasing the hobbitsAragorn: *trying to look cool and limp at the same time*Legolas: *mentally complimenting himself on how good he looks while running, but is slightly worried about his hair getting windburned*Gimli: *struggling to run and simultaneously chew bubble gum*(They have been doing this for quite some time)Aragorn: There it is! I see it!Legolas: Oh, yes! Praise Eru! We've found it!Gimli: OUCH! OUCH! SIDE STITCH!! OUCH!!Aragorn: Oh, drag him along! We've got to reach it in time!!Legolas: *grabs Gimli's beard and hauls him towards their destination*Gimli: Not the b SNRXAUEEK!! LEGOLAS, YOU TWIT! You made me swallow my GUM!*gasping, panting, and quite exhausted the three reach their goal and run inside the Riddermark Star
The True Tale of LoTR: FotRThe True Tale of the Lord of the RingsPart One: The Fellowship of the RingWARNING: This is a mixture of the movies and the books. I do not own any of the characters. If you have no sense of humor, you probably won't want to read this. Actually, I advise against it as it may result in hysteria, split ribs, and/or fainting.Scene One: Gandalf Arrives at Hobbiton(Scene opens. Frodo is secretly putting in a new pair of contacts. He doesn't want anyone to know that the color of his eyes is really brown.)Gandalf: The road goes ever on and on, until you fall right off a cliff blah blah blah blah blah blaaaahhhh
Frodo: *quickly pops in last contact and runs out to meet the wizard* You're, like, really late.Gandalf: *splutters* And you're short. So?Frodo: Erm
*checks script* You're still late.Gandalf: That's impossible! Wizards are almost never late!Frodo: *sticks his Rolex in front of Gandalf's nose* Read 'em and weep, Gandy. It says so! *taps watch face*Gandalf: *scowls*